


Panic!

by Ditsy



Category: Eastwood - Fandom, Eastwood college, eastwood high
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 21:05:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13960002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ditsy/pseuds/Ditsy
Summary: I wrote this last night when i was ventIN GTrigger warning I guess?





	Panic!

Charlie paces back and forth in his childhood bedroom, he pauses to lock the door, pressing his back against it and sliding down to the floor. His body feels hot, his hands are shaking and his eyes are burning. Frustrated, he tears off his hat and flings it across the room, it falls with a soft thump and lies there lifeless.

Panic building in his stomach, Charlie desperately rummages through his pockets for one of three things he knows will ease this throbbing pain. However There’s no alcohol in the house; she isn’t here; and with a defeated sob Charlie realises that he has no cigarettes to numb the deafening pounding in his ears as his heart beats ferociously.

Charlies eyes sting with tears as he starts to unbutton his shirt, something inside of him is pressing against his chest. He unhooks his binder and pulls his shirt back on, even now with the tight fabric no longer hugging his torso he can’t breath.   
He tries to take deep breaths but each inhale shudders with despair and every exhale turns into a gasp as tears force themselves from his body. He pulls his legs, which are straight out in front of him close to his torso. putting out a nervous, shaky hand to steady himself he leans and lowers his body to lie on his side with his knees hugged against his chest.

_Stop it._

He takes of his glasses, his vision impaired by the pools of water forming in the corner of his eyes. He rubs a hand across his face and lets it run into his hair, he tugs at his hair slightly, frustrated at the pain he feels in his chest.

 _Don’t_.

He looks out at his room as though through a fish eye lense, his vision so blurry he can barely make out the shapes of the furniture he hasn’t seen in months. Years. He knew there was a reason he shouldn’t have come, he knew this would happen.  
He turns his gaze towards the bright, open window and squints, letting his eyes clench shut against the light.

_You can do this without her._

Charlie lies there, on the floor, with his back against the wall and his body wrapped into a tight ball. His thoughts race as though trying to keep up with his heartbeat. His body feels numb but at the same time burns with a suffocating kind of pain.

_You don’t need her._

He wraps his hands around his phone, he knows calling her might make him feel better, however other thoughts cross his mind.

_What if she’s busy._

What if she hates you.

What if she’s disgusted by how you are.

Why are you doing this.

You’re pathetic.

Stop this.

Now.

His phone lights up, a familiar tone fills the room, which is silent but for the fervent beating of Charlie’s heart. He opens his eyes to read the caller ID, although he already knows it’s her. The corners of his lips tug upwards into a hesitant, fragile smile. His fingers move to answer.

He hits decline.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly mood


End file.
